all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
