Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
