how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Life is so much better after having sex.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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