He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Randomize