I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
