he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
