Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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