Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
