Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize