Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
