It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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