i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
