You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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