Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
