she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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