Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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