Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We don't watch enough power rangers
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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