OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
