when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
