I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Randomize
