So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
