I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
