He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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