I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
