so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
