They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
