I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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