I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
...so i touched it.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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