No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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