okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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