Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
she told me i tasted like america
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
