sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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