I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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