well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
