Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
