so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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