The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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