Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My vagina is very pro this idea
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
