I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
