I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize