She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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