I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
