life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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