Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
