Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Randomize
