I hope mine doesn't look like that
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
