hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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