You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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