I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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