Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
