Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
