One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just saw a hot homeless man
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
