Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's rum buckets o'clock
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
