i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
