To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
