i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
