You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
