He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
