apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
