well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
