he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
